Ableist society enables abusers. Neurodivergence is not relevant.
A lot of autistic people seem to have been in abusive relationships and it's only reasonable to ask, are we drawn to these relationships? My answer is no.
Ableist society enables abusers when there is a power imbalance. Whether the abusers are neurodivergent themselves or not is not relevant, it is the norm.
Though predatory abusive people may also target us, people who wouldn't behave like that in other relationships may do so with us. This doesn't mean we are attracting it or inviting it. We don't give permission to abuse because someone thinks they can violate our boundaries without consequences and then say we didn't set them properly or they misunderstood. They were enabled by neuronormativity.
This does not justify them either. Justification (even in the form of addressing the systems that enable it) is part of the enabling and normalising.
Addressing it as "an issue", using the noun "abuse" is also a normalisation and enabling tactic. It's not a "phenomenon", people who are abusing and violating us must be held accountable for their actions and behaviours towards us.
It's not our "behaviour" that should be changed in order to stop it, it's not what's causing it, it's theirs. The one who lacks "social skills" and empathy is them.
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