Is it really boundary issues? (Notes)
1. About quitting as setting boundaries (see link)
Go to live alone up on a mountain *IF you can*, "self-isolate" (? are you sure you are doing it to yourself?) *if you can afford*, quit all your jobs (most environments are toxic and/or abusive to nd people / no accommodations / violation of boundaries 24/7) (again if you can afford), waste your whole life quitting relationships and call it "setting boundaries". It's an illusion. We are being ostracised from society and call it setting boundaries. It's like saying the answer to bullying is ignoring it.
This [quitting] works only within certain contexts, for certain relationships in which there isn't any dependence other than an emotional attachment. It cannot be generalised. We are interdependent in society and cannot just "quit".
2. Το να εγκαταλείψεις κάτι, να φύγεις από κάπου, ως *επιλογή*, σημαίνει καταρχάς ότι έχεις πρόσβαση σε αυτό.
3. To get to a point where you can quit (as a choice) requires you first have access to something. We don't have access. Not having access is not the same with quitting.
•You don't have access without accommodations.
4. Most of it is not boundary issues. It's power imbalance.
•And
-lack of accommodations
-no access / inaccessible NT systems
-disrespecting ND ways of communication, different boundaries and other different ways of doing things (like pace).
5. I'm seeing this from a social - big picture perspective. I see that with ND people, particularly autistic, there is a more general issue of disrespect (of our boundaries) and inaccessibilty to society, that we shouldn't turn it to ourselves and internalise it, but address it for what it is. We are being abused and excluded from society, and there is no way we can "bypass" it. We are (a lot of times?) trapped. Do we really have a choice? Can we really quit? Is quitting a solution, when the violation is everywhere around? Quit and go where, do what? Quit what? Quit a goal, quit something we do want/need too? I question.
On a personal (individual) level, what I suggest is explore each situation and see what our choices are and what they mean to us. If you really have a choice to quit and the only thing that is holding you back is some belief that "we shouldn't ever quit anything", quit 100%. Is it though? Explore the factors. What is actually going on, what your choices are, if you have choices, what it means to quit/not quit, what it is that you quit.
Of course one can say you always have a choice, you have what you do not negotiate or your priorities. Yes, you can always have some choice at a cost. Is it fair though?
If you stay, it means that you may have to tolerate abuse or any violation, and that's what I'm saying is not ok. Abuse shouldn't be happening, systems should be accessible and your different ways of communicating and doing things should be respected. When this is not just one isolated case but a lot more generalised, we cannot bypass it, quitting cannot be a solution. It is within certain contexts.
6. Επίσης, για να μπορείς να εγκαταλείψεις κάτι, να φύγεις από κάπου, ως *επιλογή*, και για να μπορείς να θέτεις όρια, πρέπει πρώτα να έχεις μία βασική αυτονομία, ανεξαρτησία και ασφάλεια.
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My posts in fb
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(To be updated)
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Is it really boundary issues?
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